April 30, 2008
Let Me Be Empty,Oh and Weightless Then Maybe/I'll Find Some Peace Tonight
There is so much going on right now my head never seems to stop. Everytime things seem to be sailing along smoothly the water ripples. I try to hold onto the fact that I'm alive, that we have everything we need and that we are healthy. Sometimes, that isn't enough. I'm exhausted, I've had such a hard time sleeping.
Last night Jakob called out for me around midnight. I slipped into his bed and he snuggled right in. Normally this would be enough to have me drifting off to NeverNever Land. Not last night, but everytime I closed my eyes I saw a beautiful angel. She had her arms stretched towards the sky and the space between was filled with a bright light. She was exquisite. And then, like being smacked in the head with a baseball bat, I thought; "Give it to God".
I've never been a very religous person. I don't go to church every Sunday, heck, I don't even pray everyday. But that phrase "Give it to God" has been put in front of me several times from several different places over the last couple of months. And hand to God, moments after those words flashed in my head I quietly and peacefully drifted off to sleep.