May 11, 2010
I went crazy this morning. Like, really, like lost my shit, had to leave work crazy.
After a week and a half of whatever flu/cold thing-a-ma-gigg that has swept through this house, twice; the house being a mess, complete with dishes stacked in the sink and crumbs in the carpet; to clean laundry thrown about everywhere coupled with a stressful work situation, friends in the hospital, the constant beckoning from Jakob..."mom, I'm thirsty", "I'M DONE!" or "but I WANT to play the Xbox before school", I went completely bat shit crazy this morning.
I fought with Aaron on the phone, not trusting his word and throwing about accusations like it's my job. I had to pull over on the side of the road because I couldn't see because I was sobbing. Past guilts, past angry feelings, past hurts set in. I was a mess. Wallowing and whining about how I never have ME time, how I work my fingers to the bone outside AND inside my home.
Aaron came home, he had gone to the park to clear his head. We talked. I felt better. He left for work. I sat down on the couch, in the quiet of my living room, all by myself and opened this picture I had been tweeking and thought about how much I really don't like being alone. "Me Time" is for the birds, and I miss mine when they aren't around.